i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize