You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize