I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
