You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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