You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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