Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
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What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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