Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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