You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
do herpes really smell.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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