pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
