so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
