Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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