I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
