i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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