I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Boobs are out for the taking
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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