summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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