I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
