I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
