..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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