If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
