We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
MIDGETS
????
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize