I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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