Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
