Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
