I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize