i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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