All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
