We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have aggressive nipples.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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