My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
