I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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