We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
