I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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