There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
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There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
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Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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