Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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