i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
