Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
