Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Boobs are out for the taking
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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