I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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