my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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