O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
