I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How's work?
Spinning.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
