i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My cat gives me a boner
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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