When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
