I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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