do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
