I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
