Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
