first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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