He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
