apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
