4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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