I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
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Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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