why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
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If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution