I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
