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• (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.

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• (585): View more from New York

  we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...

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• (518): View more from New York

  are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.

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• (714): View more from California

  GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess

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