so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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