Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
