I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
