Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
