I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We named our party play list daddy issues
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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