He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
