Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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