He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
