It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
