im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
