Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
