Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize