If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
